Last week a client called to tell me he couldn’t sleep. I knew just to listen. Then he said he was losing his appetite. I knew just to listen. Then he said something interesting, “It’s like, Sylvia, like every step I take there is a stone in my shoe and when I stop to shake it out there is nothing there.” He then admitted he felt stupid telling me that and yet, and yet, the gnawing, uncomfortable feeling would not go away.

We began to swirl down into that murky place that most of my male clients hate to go, into the irrational realm of emotions. Hey guys, there is no way out of the uncomfortable feeling zone except to go through what I call “the ugly middle” of whatever the messy situation is.

So, into the ugly middle we went. It turned out that one of his most trusted employees was talking about internal policies way too openly. It almost felt like the mess with that young Army Private Bradley Manning who posted over 76,000 secret Afghanistan war records on that whistleblower website WikiLeaks. I was torn up thinking about the people over there putting their lives at risk and now the Taliban able to get to them. Makes me furious.

“How does that connect with you?” I asked. “Well, we have some new products that are not quite ready for public consumption and Darrell, he used to know when to talk and when to shut up, he’s been out there telling everyone about what we are doing. And I just don’t get it. Now, of course this is not as serious as the WikiLeaks although actually to our company it is pretty damn important.”

I told my client about the back story with the young Army private who from all reports sounds depresses and rudderless. He has a volatile relationship with his dad, so the media reports, and was stating on Facebook that he is “not a piece of equipment” and has been angry against his American employer (the Army) and at society at large.

“How does that connect in with Darrell, if at all?” I questioned. My client let out a deep guttural sigh. “Oh man, I think I get the connection. His father died a few months ago and he just separated from his wife of twenty years. He actually said he did not know if it was even worth living anymore, except for his kids.” Then, another sigh from his toes this time.

“I never thought about it till just now. I did not know what to say so I went to my usual avoider place, you know the one you nailed me on that you talk about in “Don’t Bring It to Work” and I ignored his discomfort. Do you think he is mad at me for not paying attention? Could he be taking out his anger at me?”

We developed a plan to talk with Darrell. Tune in tomorrow to see what happened.