I watched how just the right dose of anger can work in a positive way. It happened early yesterday morning and sparked a lively conversation. Here is the scene: Herb, my husband, and I wanted an early start from our motel at the edge of the Mojave Desert.

Westward Ho! To California with personal items we accumulated living in Santa Fe for almost 20 years. Up till now the U-Haul had been chugging along just fine. We were packed up and ready. San Francisco, here we come.

Now, let me describe Herb. He is a macho type man with a gentle side. He is almost always seeing the “pony in the manure pile”. He is someone who can organize just about anything. He gets projects ready and done on time.

So when I got ready to climb in the truck of the van and heard him say “Not yet” I figured we had a flat tire. Nope, instead Herb was railing against a little lock and key that secure the back doors the rather filled vehicle.

I watched with curiosity as he talked to the key, cajoling, romancing, and requesting it open the lock stuck without the safety latch on.

Now, it really does take a lot to get Herb overtly frustrated and angry. Trust me; I have to put extra energy out to convince him he should be furious about something, well, just because I am.

Also, he loves puzzles, so any situation that requires a challenge; that’s his cup of tea. When he turned to me and said “I’ve run out of ideas. The lock is stuck, it’s Labor Day and we’ll be hard pressed to find a locksmith open”. I made some suggestions; already tried.

Then Herb got angry, average for most, for him, over the top. He stormed around the parking lot. Got mad at Labor Day and the kind of help he needed not easily available. Got mad at himself for even thinking he needed help. It was like watching a pitcher winding up to throw the speed ball to strike out the last guy.

He went over, looked at the lock and, if the lock had a jaw, that was where he was headed. Hit the lock, said “ouch” to his hand and then we stood miraculously watch the lock unlock. Yes, it did. It just flipped open.

Have no idea of the physics of the situation. All I know is that sometimes stamping your feet and giving into frustration can move things forward. Now, there is a middle ground of anger that works, the extremes are where crises and unresolved conflicts lie.

So, give yourself permission to vent; you may just unlock some annoyance and move forward on your journey even faster!