“Why not all the time”, I questioned.

“Just because of that word you used…only if we find the time. We move at such a fast pace that even great tales like this get lost in the speed of the rest of the ‘must do’s in education.”

This could be a perfect way to begin leadership development before the patterns that get in the way, the bully, victim, rescuer start to get locked into the nervous system.

If you remember, George was asked if he cut down the cherry tree and he owned up to it; great precedent for the Presidency of our country. And, novel……to tell the truth!

Did you ever wonder what kind of world we would be living in if the truth was as coveted as  McMansions, gold jewelry, and fast cars?

Here are some examples of truth, the kind of truth we teach in our Total leadership Connections program. These are short sentences that get to the heart of the matter:

• “You are right, the salmon says fresh and excludes the fact it is farmed not wild.”   (Rather than: Most people don’t care so we never put it on the menu, you are the ONLY one who ever asked)

• “I’m sorry you were disappointed with the DVD and I want to make sure we can supply you with what you need for your program. I misunderstood your specific need and will make this right for you.” (Rather than You SAID that was what you needed and we gave you EXACTLY what you asked for)

So, what’s the difference?

Truth trumps every time. Now, let’s get a class together for most of our present politicians and talk about George and the cherry tree till they get it.

Listen, we all know what is good and what is not.

So, why do we keep drinking those awful Diet Cokes? Why do we pretend we are getting nutrition from a Big Mac?

Pollan, the Knight Professor of journalism at Berkeley, was named one of the most influential people in the world by Time magazine in 2010. Hey, now you can be in the flow knowing who one of the best and the brightest is.

His work is a great example of leadership connections. He makes us all think and rethink what is good and right, what really matters. He offers large ideas in a way that is totally digestible.

Some of Pollan’s important quotes will stay with you when you are really hungry, or think you are:

“It’s not food if it arrived through the window of your car”

“It’s not food if it’s called by the same name in every language: think Cheetos”

“The whiter the bread the sooner you’ll be dead”

You get the point.

Begin to become conscious of what you eat from a new perspective, that food is as much about pleasure and communion as it is about nutrition and health.

Get a copy for yourself, for your loved ones, for little kids and teens, it is a treasure. And remember, if you’re not hungry enough to eat an apple, you’re probably not hungry.

When we talked I saw how perfectly positioned she was for life to take her on a fast and fun ride to high level leadership. Her delight with her company was effervescent, she bubbled and sparkled.

We talked about the key to being an entrepreneur, to being a GUTSY GAL. She talked about her belief that when you have an opportunity to do something, anything, and you feel butterflies flapping their wings in your tummy, you just need to stand up and get going!

That’s what she did when she was a dietician for the Philadelphia school district. She had a really good job and lots of security. Yet, the call to adventure was just around the corner. She joined the Mary Kay organization for some extra money and to learn about the great products and never thinking would lead her to the world of pink Cadillacs. (Look for her in the Philadelphia area in the sharp pink car she zooms around in going from appointment to appointment)

I was a ChapStick girl and never spent much time on my make-up” she stated looking amazing with her smooth skin, just done enough eyes and gorgeous red lips. “I decided to take that “silly lipstick thing” and in less than eight months I matched my dietician salary.

Her suggestion to budding entrepreneurs is to “just jump in” rather than the slow and almost tortuous way of putting one toe into the water and then an ankle, and then…just do it, as Nike would say.

When I asked about being GUTSY as a kid, she reminisced that she was programmed to be the “pleaser“, the good girl. Her mother did not work, even though she was an unbelievable baker. Many offered to set mom up in business but dad wanted her to be the stay at home housewife of the times.

Now, the fun of Livia being so out there in the public has rubbed off on her mother. Livia’s husband is being taught all the secrets of that fabulous baking that you can buy at Pagano’s Market at 2001 Market Street in Philadelphia.

Livia’s husband is super supportive and he loves to wear pink shirts as a statement to encourage his go for it GUTSY Gal.

Want to learn to be GUTSY like Livia? You can get some tips and tools at the next GUTSY WEEKEND April 13-15, 2012 at The Country Place Retreat and Conference Center in the Poconos (www.sylvialafair.com).

Tomorrow’s forecast: healthy, real people in healthy, real bodies are the new trend.

Maybe, just maybe, there is a new superhero that will give little girls and young women the hope of health, inside and out; the image of positive power, personal and professional.

Watching the Grammy Awards was fascinating with all the bouncy music mingled with the sadness around Whitney Houston’s passing.

One bright moment was listening to Adele charm all of us with her gentle, powerful voice only four months after vocal cord surgery. She brought the house to their feet with what seemed like hours of applause and appreciation.

Adele accepted the continued clapping with great charm, great presence.

She has a lovely face and a curved, huggable body. She is so NOT the image of today’s celebrity world. She is, what Goldilocks talked about ……she is JUST RIGHT!

Earlier I heard an interview Anderson Cooper did with the singer on 60 Minutes. Adele is clear and definite when she speaks (I was never that poised in my 20’s; maybe not even in my 30’s…or 40’s)!

When asked about her weight she said a variation of “I am who I am”. What a breath of fresh air. No continuous surgery like a Kate Gosselin or Joan Rivers. As Adele said, she is who she is.

What if all leadership training, if all leadership development courses taught people to be who they are? The word “authentic” is bandied about, yet it often remains more a word than a reality.

So, here’s to Adele.

I’d love to give her an extra Grammy for winning the award to just “be who she is…. warts and all”!

What habits are you holding on to?

Hey girl, you know it is your time, so don’t waste any of it. Understanding your patterns is key to unlocking your potential. Here is what you need to know about patterns and then the ball is in your court to make change happen.

Patterns are behaviors that you repeat and repeat and sadly are not really clear till after the damage is done.

As in “I did IT again!”. The “IT” can be anything from eating the hot fudge sundae when you know you feel crappy with so much sugar, to coming in late for work when you know you are already on a performance improvement plan, to “forgetting” to call your mother and you know she will give you the cold shoulder… again!

So, why do we do “IT”?

Not all patterns are bad, mind you. Some are habits that create security and consistency and most are not troubling. Think of your morning routine, most are patterns you don’t even think about to get done and out of the house on time. These patterns help us stay organized and efficient.

It is the other ones, the ones that so many women complain about that need attention. Like being a PLEASER. This one is so old and getting so stale. It is about wanting to be liked, accepted, and hopefully staying in the “in group”. Another is the RESCUER. This one is to make you the hero and have you get lots of applause. And another that is in the women’s camp is the MARTYR, always putting yourself last to make sure everyone else is happy.

Give yourself a gift this year. Come to our next GUTSY WOMEN WEEKEND and find out how to tackle these patterns to the ground and replace them with ones that are positive and get you on the fast track, elevating your leadership to new heights.

A gazillion people watched.

So, what was with someone hired to come over from the UK to dance and sing who simply had to show that middle finger.

For what purpose?

This was a perfect example of workplace conflict, of inappropriate boundaries, of the need to be seen and heard, no matter what the cost.

Rather than use her name and give her more publicity, I would like to bring up the question: what part of an individual is so starved for attention they will behave badly just to be seen? It seems that the rule today is that any publicity is better than no publicity.

Recently I was on a television program called “The Girls.” I was asked to talk about how men and women behave differently when in stressful meetings. It was lots of fun and I saw the power of having a captive audience where any moment, any movement could be seen and dissected by a lot of people.

It is a responsibility not to be taken lightly.

The need to sensationalize is strong in many individuals who, I guess, are empty inside. They get off on extreme attention and are the drama queens and kings with no understanding of healthy boundaries.

I hope Madonna, as the boss of her show, brings this woman to task. It would be so easy to want to respond with her own “digitus impudicus”. Yet, as a leader it would be great if she could help this girl look inside to see where the emptiness lies.

While not everyone was as lucky as Ned Brody to have a mother of power and passion, we DO KNOW we all had a mother (and father). And whether we like it or not,  they were part of our first thoughts.

Give yourself the gift of finding your openheartedness to explore and reframe relationships with parents.

It really does matter.

If you want a template to follow on how to do a Sankofa Map it is in my book “Don’t Bring It to Work”.

Read Ned Brody’s story here.

Perfect place to observe!

Who made sure the dip and chip trays were full? Who white knuckled when it was time for the “hail Mary” throw to get those badly needed points? Who groaned and cheered the loudest when there were too many players on the field?

Of equal interest: which ads got the most attention? Which ads appealed to the women and which to the men? Was it the sexy gal dipping her finger into the guy’s latte, or watching the newest, fastest cars zooming around? Was it Matthew Broderick reinventing his old Ferris Bueller days that appealed to the gals or was it watching Madonna looking damn good as an elder?

Super Bowl Sunday has become almost as important as say, the Fourth of July, or maybe even Thanksgiving. The best part of this day for any anthropologist is it really does give time to see the evolution of the sexes around that sacred sport of football.

What did you observe????

Imagine a work environment without trust.

Think about that for a moment.

Trust is the foundation of all successful relationships, but how does it form?

Trust within a company is developed when leaders “walk the talk” and the actions of the organization are easily reconciled with the words of those leaders. Trust is built when leaders act on feedback and when companies follow through on promises (both implicit and explicit). Trust requires sharing of success AND sharing of pain. Trust is destroyed when companies don’t do these things.

Many organizations lack an environment of trust. I’m not saying trust doesn’t exist, I’m saying it isn’t pervasive. I believe one of the reasons is that organizations talk about the strength of people as assets, but this has not been reflected by their public actions.

How many reports do we see of companies being lauded for their financial success during difficult times, and learn that the financial success is a result of “necessary restructuring” and “difficult decisions” – code for layoffs.

Necessary for survival?

Not generally.

Necessary to make the next quarter’s numbers?

More often the case. Companies and shareholders succeed while employees experience pain.

Let me tell you a quick story. Very recently, a bright and promising engineer came to me for some career advice. This guy loves his technical role, however he is convinced that his role is doomed. He sees no reason why the company won’t consolidate and eliminate his position. He sees this as perfectly rational from a business perspective and, as a result, inevitable. He believes this to be true because it reflects a pattern of past behavior that cannot be denied.

Companies tend to take decisions on rational analysis instead of mutual benefit. Rational choices often do not help to build trust, as they are focused on maximizing the benefit of the individual or entity (often in the short term).

Most readers are probably familiar with the game theory exercise called the “Prisoner’s Dilemma” ,where two parties without reason to trust one another must act in an irrational way in order for them both to gain. If they act rationally, both lose marginally or one loses big and the other wins big. This is a situation where both can take decisions that impact the other. More often in employer/employee relationships, the decisions of the employee are likely to have very little impact on the employer, particularly in large companies (fraud and espionage notwithstanding). I would like to tell you about two other studies that we can more closely relate to employee engagement and trust.

• In the “Ultimatum Game“, two individuals are given a choice. Individual #1 is given 20 one-dollar bills, and is allowed to keep the money under one condition. He must offer part of the money to individual #2. If individual #2 accepts the offer, both keep the money, if he rejects, both lose the money. Rationally, individual #2 should accept any offer since it is “found money”, and individual #1 should offer the least possible (one dollar) to maximize his gain, however repeated studies show that individual #2 will reject any offer seen as unfair, and individual #1 tends to sense this and make an offer that is close to an even split. Even if individual #2 accepts the rational decision, has his trust in individual #1 been increased or decreased?

•  In an alternative game called the “Dictator Game“, the same scenario is presented, except that individual #1 is told that he gets to keep the money regardless if individual #2 accepts or rejects. Not surprisingly individual #1 tends to make an offer close to the minimum and individual #2 accepts the offer in nearly every case. This is the most rational decision for each of them, but does nothing to build trust.

Leaders have a responsibility to look out for the interest of the company. If we understand and believe that our people are the company’s greatest assets, we must influence decisions in a way that provide the greatest benefit to everyone and builds trust.

In just a short time, we have all adopted new, easier ways of carrying computer devices with us. Anyone have a smart phone?

Just so you know, if you don’t innovate, you really won’t die, you just may be left at the sidelines.

So, here is a great book for everyone who owns a business or is a leader in a corporation or family firm. And if you are an entrepreneur, you can be assured this book will keep you turning pages fast and furious.

The book: “Find Your Next” by Andrea Kates speaks a language that is mighty familiar to me. it is the language of patterns. Think this way: there is pattern repetition, when you keep doing the same thing over and over and expect different results. Einstein called this the best definition of insanity.

Okay, what can replace pattern repetition?

Well, how about pattern replacement. Sounds good to me.

In this book, a very smart and skilled professional has some fabulous case studies.  For example, Hyatt Hotels (really posh and “today”) discovered untapped opportunities in their customer experience. If you want to know, read the book. You will get so many ideas of your own to put into practice in your own business.

Andrea created something with a really intriguing name: the Business genome.

Want to know more?

Read the book!

I am really very picky about what I recommend and this one is a game changer.

Smart lady and smart book.