1. In a conflict situation, when someone expresses anger in a loud, defiant voice, do you:
   
   Get louder to prove your point?
   Lower your voice, look down and feel defeated?
   Divert the situation by talking about your own, bigger problem?
   Walk away?
   Tell a joke or mimic the person’s angry voice?

 

2. In a meeting when two colleagues are in a debate that is taking all the air time, do you:
   
   
   Jump in and make them “play nice”?
   Text message across the room about whom you side with?
   Wait until the break and enlist others to go to HR with you and complain?
   Agree with both of them just to STOP the arguing?
   Quote research to prove they are both wrong and you know better?

 

3. There has been an economic downturn, and there is a meeting to discuss the possibilities of future downsizing. Do you:
   
   
   Write a memo as soon as you get back to the office with sage advice about how to handle employees during difficult times?
   Cancel your planned vacation and let your family know they can go without you?
   Tell your key employees that you will keep them safe no matter what happens if there really is a downsizing?
   Gather a group to go to HR and make a strong statement that there is no reason for downsizing except corporate greed?
   Make an appointment to meet with your boss, give him your full support, and tell him you will do whatever he asks of you?

 

4. You worked late and on your way out you see a co-worker who is married with children making out with a single co-worker. They both just happen to report to you. Do you:
   
   
   Say hi and tell them you were glad they were getting the report ready for the morning meeting?
   Turn around and go back to your office to work for another hour hoping that they will leave quickly, so that you can pretend you never saw them?
   Ask the married co-worker to go back to your office with you and lecture him or her on family values?
   Go back to your office and call the spouse of the married employee to tell them you are worried about burnout and perhaps they should have a talk when he gets home?
   Tell them about your own mistakes in the past and how you are now divorced and regret what happened and how easy it is to be taken advantage of at work?

 

5. The VP of IT has been coming to work dressed provocatively. She is the talk of the company. You report to her, and in a one-on-one meeting she stops in the middle and asks if there have been people spreading rumors about her and the way she dresses. Do you:
   
   
   Acknowledge her good taste in clothes and change the subject?
   Tell her about a style consultant you know who is a very close friend and who you would love to introduce her to. Tell her as well about the research you have done on the way to dress for success in the contemporary business world?
   Make a joke of it by telling her the latest gossip about Paris Hilton and Hollywood trends?
   Share with her how upset you felt when you heard two other colleagues making negative remarks about her and that you would be more than willing to tell her who they are?
   Tell her you are tired of all the drama at work and that you are prepared to take a stand with her to get the jealous and calculating folks to stop, while also mentioning that the gossip at your last place of employment nearly caused the company to fold?

 

6. You have an office mate who comes to work disheveled and bleary-eyed. This has been going on for weeks. Do you:
   
   
   Bring them a cup of coffee and tell them you would be pleased to bring a salad from the cafeteria for lunch, yet never say you are concerned about the way they look?
   Go to your boss or HR and complain about the drug and alcohol policy and ask whether employees who are questionable are being talked with?
   Stop at their desk and tell a joke about the rabbi, priest and monk who had a hangover?
   Tell them you can see they are having a rough day and you would be pleased to finish their urgent work for them?
   Sit down and ask them why they look so worn out and then admonish them for the poor example they are setting, especially for the younger employees?

 

7. Your boss asked you to speak at a national meeting in two weeks because she is suddenly unavailable: You think:
   
   
   It will put me in a power position.
   Maybe I can get out of it by getting the flu.
   I’m always the one they all turn to and it’s not fair.
   I’ll go to her boss and complain.
   I’ll get someone else to write the speech, I’m always so swamped.

 

8. During your performance review, you are told some of your colleagues are complaining about the quality of your reports. You think:
   
   
   I’ll get back at them somehow.
   They’re the ones who do crappy reports, not me.
   I don’t know what they’re talking about.
   I’ll take a writing class and show them I’m better than they are.
   My lawyer will hear about this.

 

9. You have recently joined an organization that offers mixed messages. The major theme is: “We want your innovative ideas developed, so long as they don’t disrupt the status quo.” You think:
   
   
   It’s a good thing I joined this company. I can help them see their convoluted thinking and free up everyone’s creative energy.
   I have to bring some banners into the place that say, ‘The emperor is naked.” Then maybe we can begin to tell the truth.
   I will just come in and do my job. I never get heard anyway.
   I’ll just play the game and pretend I love this job. No one will ever know I think they are all nuts.
   I’ll do some research on double-blind messages and then go to my boss with the results so that we can set up some communication classes.

 

10. You tend to be uncomfortable when major projects are heading to deadline and the stress level increases exponentially. You think:
    
    
    My colleagues have all the help they need and no one has come to ask me for anything, so I guess I’m not really needed.
    I have to tie loose ends together from the old project, so I can’t get involved with this one.
    They expect us to stay late and that is not fair. I will only put in the allotted time, and if they want more time they have to pay me.
    Some people are cut out for excessive stress. I’m not one of them, so I’ll just claim I have chronic headaches.
    I guess that means no home life for the next six weeks. What else is new? I always do the dirty work.

 

11. You recently received a poor performance review and are worried you may be asked to leave the company. You think:
    
    
    I never really liked working here. It’s not creative enough for me, and I’ll be glad to get out of here.
    I’ll meet with my boss and convince him that they can’t replace me. I’ll also promise to work harder.
    I was never given any chance to improve myself. Why am I always the last to know?
    If I lose this job, my family will not survive. I may as well kill myself; at least they’ll get insurance money.
    This can’t be happening to me. I’m the most competent person on the team, with the best degrees from major universities. I’ll use my influence with the big bosses.

 

12. You just found out that you were not invited to two senior meetings in the past month. You think:
    
    
    That’s exactly what they mean by micro-inequities. I’m calling a lawyer.
    I was out of town and didn’t expect to be invited, so it’s no big deal.
    After all the nights I have spent completing those complex charts for the annual meeting, I can’t believe I’m so unappreciated. It doesn’t pay to go the extra mile.
    I know it was just an oversight, and I will take some coffee and go into the boss’ office and tell him I understand that he was too busy to remember to invite everyone.
    I’ll just wait and see who gets invited to the next few meetings before I even think about saying anything.

 

13. You’re in the break room and one of your colleagues just announced he is getting the promotion you wanted. You think:
    
    
    It’s never my turn, life is so unfair.
    After all I’ve done for him! I work myself to the bone for all these jerks.
    I really didn’t want that job anyway.
    He got that job because of favoritism. I’ll complain to HR about that.
    That makes me think of the joke about the two guys in a rowboat.

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